My Belief by Tatiana Pahlen

My Belief
By Tatiana Pahlen

Over infants' lives
capricious fate hovers and rises,
engraving each destiny
with twisted lines,
where amidst constellations, beneath snowfall,
I fell into the arms of a celestial pal, 'Capricorn'.
I thankfully took my first frosty breath,
gripping a prickly toy,
Thy Son's genuine boon, a wreath of thorns.

The January infant's steadfast,
determined to climb hills fast.
Fostered by its cold cradle,
it grows hastily like a large thirsty sponge,
embracing the vastness of the Universe
with its poignant, tongue-tied verse.

On doomsday I shall appear at your knees
as a toppled soul, yet a 'saint'.
In communion Thy body and Thy blood, oh Lord, I savored!
During rambling confessions I bent lower my stubborn head,
recalling my merry baptism, 'fore turning nineteen,
long before the Berlin Wall crumbled,
when my former country was hopelessly "red."
Please God, do not resent
My Godfather — the convert; he is an indulgent Jew!

I joyfully fasted, banned the forbidden,
but relished wine.
I lured all my cronies to revel in your Great Lent;
None of them fancied to join me in Christ.
Yet I loved them all the more.

My vainglorious prayers
were the sweetness of being tamed,
as my sinful lips strove to reach pious icons;
there are a few days between Thy birth and mine
and thousands of endless years, my lenient Lord.

Spinning at the edge and flirting with eternity,
I faced the dangers with a daring smile,
believing on the earth I'll be a while,
before I slip into a silken shroud,
for you to behold me with Your Mighty Eye.