The Ballad

The Ballad of Woody Allen and Soon Yi
or
Papa Geppettio and his Cultured Pearl
By Tatiana Pahlen

While Woody fathered the Cultured Pearl,
His flute became so woody.
He glanced at Soon Yi-
A shrewd little girl
Who wasn't built to be moody.

"Come near, my child," Woody sweetly said,
"Let's have a wrestle with daddy.
Vary this dress: don something wild,
Unveil your exotic body.

Seal our secret, my priceless Pearl,
Not a word to your shrewish mommy.
Gosh! I am so sickened of her,
She is a hopeless dummy.

Bestial blessing I'll bestow on you,
May I join you in school?
With you I crave to be young and fool!
Kiss baby, kiss, don't be afraid,
Kiss your new woody friend.